The Brutal Truth About Growth No One Told You

I hate to break it to you but growth isn’t about reading a cute Instagram quote or something you read while scrolling reels or hell, not even about reading this blogpost. Neither is it about sipping a perfectly filtered coffee on a perfect morning in your perfect mansion nor is it about keeping some gratitude journal.

We fantasize about the idea of growth but what we don’t like is the process. We want instant transformation but - hello, please delete all the struggles. We want mastery but - oh, we don’t wanna fail. And that’s exactly why many of us stay stuck in the same damn place, year after year, telling ourselves the same damn “hum hongey kamyaab!” - level excuses  (i.e. we will succeed, one day!).

Growth is messy. It’s hard. It’s painful. And most of the time, it feels like “what the f*** am I even doing?”.

There you go - that’s the brutal truth no one told you. But let’s rip the Band-Aid off, shall we?

1. “If you only do things you’re good at, congrats—you’ve officially stopped growing.”

This one’s a real kicker!

Most of us are addicted to chasing good. The moment we get “good at stuff” – we cling to it. Don’t want to let it go, after all – ‘if I suck at something what will others think of me?’  We build our entire identities around doing “good at stuff” things and we do so because it feels good to be good (at something!), respected, and even envied. It’s safer. It gives security. It gives comfort.

But here’s the thing: the moment you do what you’re good at and keep doing that only, you stop evolving. You build a tiny little world of certainty and set up a bonfire there. But congrats, in reality, you’ve created a personal prison—and decorated it with motivational post-its stamped across the walls.

Growth, on the other hand, demands that you suck at something new. That you walk into rooms where you are a dud. That you do things that make you look like a two year old. That you fumble, fall, and look like a novice—again and again.

But most people don’t want that. They’d prefer to stay (or act like) kings and queens of their tiny castles than risk becoming amateurs in a longer game.

Guess what kings and queens? That ‘crown’ of yours is made of ego, and that’s what is keeping you small.

2. “‘I’m just not good at this’ is lazy talk for ‘I don’t want to suck before I get better.’”

We’ve all said it and keep on saying it. “I’m not good at math.” “I’m not a people person.” “I’m just not creative.” “ I’m not a tech-y.” Blah blah blah. Those aren’t facts. They’re exit strategies disguised as identities.

Let’s decipher this nonsense:

“I’m not good at this” = “I’m not willing to be uncomfortable long enough to get better.”

Because if you were, you’d keep going. You’d learn. You’d be comfortable in sucking at it at first, then suck a little less, and then—OMG—eventually not suck at all.

The issue is - sucking hurts, doesn’t it? It bruises your ego. So you go on for a bit, then instead of pushing through, you withdraw. You convince yourself “it’s not for me.” and you slam the door shut.

But remember growth doesn’t care about your pride, it only responds to your patience.

3. “You’re not a failure. You just haven’t learned how to fail big yet.”

You treat failure as if it’s some final exam and end-of-the-world report card. And when you flunk you tell yourself “ I guess I’m not cut out for this.” (Boo-hoo!) Cry-baby.

It’s not that you’re not cut out for success, but just not cut out for ‘instant’ success—and guess what? No one is.

Don’t treat failure like a verdict. Treat it like a feedback. A data point on your life’s graph. A cue that’s begging for a constructive response. A necessary checkpoint on the road to doing anything worth giving a damn.

The problem is we were never taught how to fail. We were taught to avoid it. To fear it. To cover it up, bury it, and run away from it.

Here’s the truth: people who grow know how to fail. They learn how to fail. They get better at failing. They then fail faster. And most importantly, they don’t make failure mean anything about their worth. In fact they wholeheartedly boast about it. They don’t attach a meaning to the act of failing they extract a feedback and keep getting better.

There goes a story that when Edison, on being asked by a reporter, on how does it feel to have invented the light bulb, candidly responded – “lady, I didn’t invent the light bulb, but I invented 10,000 different ways how not to invent it.”

Failing only means, that success isn’t guaranteed and despite that you push harder to get better. That’s where growth resides. So, get better. Fail big. Fail in style.

4. “You don’t suck. You just stopped trying when it got hard.”

This one hits below, especially when you’ve got a graveyard of half-finished goals, and dusty dreams in your head.

Let’s be honest—you didn’t quit because it was impossible. You quit because it became inconvenient. Because it stopped being fun. Because your progress wasn’t ‘Instagrammable’ enough.

(just like I stopped putting out blog posts or content on Instagram :))

Hard doesn’t mean it’s not working. I think that resistance is a part of the growth process. That’s how muscles strengthen — by being torn down and rebuilt stronger. But we’ve been socially conditioned to treat “hard” as a red flag instead of a green light.

Growth isn’t always about the grind, but it sure as hell isn’t about quitting the second things stop feeling smooth. You didn’t fail. You bailed.

But the good news is you can always start again.

5. “Becoming is better than being.”

(Always.)

We spend so much energy trying to BE someone—someone impressive, someone respected, someone admired—that we forget the whole point is TO BECOME.

Becoming means being in a state of motion.

It means being curious,

It means being messy.

It means letting go of “I have it all figured out.”

 “Being” feels safer. We get social proof. But becoming, means you’re vulnerable. You feel naked. You feel exposed. Your doubts, your fears, your work-in-progress self all lay bare in the open.

And yet—that’s where life happens. Not in your image, but in your evolution.

Who you’re becoming matters more than who you’re pretending to be.

6. The Final Punch: “Growth Isn’t About Perfection—It’s About Progress.”

Too long have glamorized “growth” as this pristine concept—like it happens through a podcast, a  motivational speech, or some overpriced online course.

But real growth is f****ed up. Real growth, sadly, is gritty, uncomfortable, roller-coaster-like, identity-shaking kind and is not something you just “manifest” on a vision board.

It’s you showing up when you’d rather hide.

It’s throwing the punch despite knowing you’d be punched.

It’s taking the shot when you’re terrified to miss.

It’s choosing the long-term over short-term dope.

Growth doesn’t happen in your 5-by-5 cubicle. It happens on the streets. It happens in the reps no one sees, the rejections no one claps for, the small failures no one has a clue about.

And yeah -  it won’t feel like progress every day.

Some days it’ll feel like chaos.

Some days you’ll wonder if you’re backsliding. That’s normal. That’s part of the climb.

The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is direction. The goal is progress.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about having it all figured out. It’s about being open to keep figuring it out. It’s not about knowing everything but it’s about being clueless most of the time.

So stop obsessing over being great. Start getting good at getting better.

Blogpost by

Some Guy Who’s Still Figuring It Out.